Time to Go Elsewhere: June 2012

Phong Nha Farmstayin' it up!

6:47 AM |

Dong Hoi was great, peaceful, and quaint. Phong Nha is greater, peacefuller, and quainter. Not too far inland from good ol' Dong Hoi are the endless plains of rice paddies nestled in between towering jungle-covered karsts in this unreal Unesco world heritage site. There seem to be a bunch of those around these parts. This lil' farmstay, the new hot stop on the backpacker's highway through Vietnam, sits overlooking the aforementioned landscape, with oxen lethargically grazing about and wind sweeping across the rice paddies like an immense crowd of well-organized sports fans. Or like a body of water. My similes are off today.

The powerlines are way less noticeable in person. I swear.

I've been sitting on my ass long enough, so I figured it's time to explore the craggy underworld of Vietnam. Caves, man, caves. Big caves too. And dark caves. Big caves first, then dark caves, though the dark caves were also pretty big. Oh and I went swimming in the dark cave. Actually I went swimming a lot. Alright, caves first.

This wasn't the dark cave.

To start the day off, we drove around Phong Nha park and checked out the various overwhelming mountainous formations and Vietnam War-era (or American War, as they call it) points of interest. This area happened to be a key part of the Ho Chi Minh trail and was bombed like a slow kid in dodgeball. Bomb craters are currently used as watering holes and fish farms. Ordinance, primarily unexploded cluster munitions, litter the country side. Marvelous stuff. But the caves! Ah, the caves. Largest system in the world, and I saw a kilometer of it! The first cave was actually super touristy, something of an Asian Howe Cavern I figure, though pretty darn big. The second cave was accessed via kayak and was pitch-darned-black. Did some good ol' cave swimming and hung out in the serene darkness (really dumb band name). This one was called "dark cave," a title given by somebody who didn't understand what the concept of a cave involves, I figure. Anyway, we also stopped at some other spots along the river to go for a dip, beers and all.

Not pictured: beers and swimming, but rest assured they existed.

Afterwards, we got back to the farmstay and were treated to free drinks, with another free round of shooters in celebration of a birthday. So, to recap: rice paddies, karsts, bombs, cave, swimming, kayaks, cave, caveswimming, swimming, drinks, drinks, etc. This is a nice place.

I found a gecko!

Fine, here's a pretty view:

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Dong Hoi Ahoy!

6:45 AM |

There's a few other place's with "Hoi" in their name around Vietnam, but I figured I'd get that one outta the way. Anyway, after getting my fill of Cat Ba Island and being let down by the various promises of cool tours and expeditions, I decided to cut my losses and head on down to Dong Hoi.

So long, Cat Ba. Your seafood was tasty.

Originally I had planned to go to a farmstay in the nearby Phong Nha national park, but I can't get a bed til the 30th, so I'm staying in this lovely and (even better) quiet seaside town. Dong Hoi is everything that Hanoi and Cat Ba weren't. The streets are quiet, with only a motobike cruising down every once in a while. There is considerably less honking. No garbage. Nobody's tried to sell me anything yet. The hostel has both wi-fi and ac. Top it all off, my dinner just cost me $2 (with beer!). Now my rosy opinion may be due to this being my first clear-skied day in Vietnam, but I think Dong Hoi is really just a nice place to be. That, or the sleeper bus ride was so dreadful that anything is paradise afterwards.

View from my balcony in Dong Hoi. The ocean is offscreen to the left.

Oh right, I took a sleeper bus from Cat Ba to Dong Hoi. Seems like a good idea, you save paying for lodging for a night and you don't lose a day of doing things, right? WRONG! Beforehand, I get myself all prepped. Got a good book to read, plenty of tv shows and some movies to watch on my fully charged netbook. Gonna be a good ride, right? WRONG! Come on, at least try to pay attention here. When I finally find the right bus, I'm rudely shoved onto a top bunk in the center row of the bus. This means that I have aisles on either side of me, with each flank featuring a glamorous four-foot drop and not a railing to be heard of. You see this would be fine in a normal dormitory situation, but this particular night it was on a shoddy bus weaving in and out of traffic on the wonderfully ill-maintained Vietnamese roads. Now I like rodeos as much as the next guy, but sleeping on a bucking bull ain't the most pleasant of things.

View from my cot. Featuring: my knee, because I didn't have room to lay flat.

So I figure I'll watch shows until I'm exhausted enough to pass out. Good idea, right? If you didn't say "wrong," you're wrong. First, the bus driver insisted on showing some Vietnamese version of an American Idol/Abbott & Costello hybrid. At max volume. And second, Vietnamese really love talking as loudly as possibly on their cell phones. Must be some sort of national past time. And while I'm at it, thirdly, Vietnamese seem to be super curious about whatever a westerner is doing. So when I booted up an episode of Parks and Recreation, I had three or four mouths leaning across the aisle and breathing down my neck. Whatever, I'll just sleep through it all and wake up the next morning ready to take on the world. Oh wait these cots are made to the scale of either Ewoks or Ithorians (look em up, their head shape would be perfect for the absurd headrest that complemented my cot) and designed specifically counter to comfort of human beings. I suspect sabotage on the part of the Rebel Alliance in an attempt to subdue the primarily human Galactic Empire. Bastards, I just wanted some sleep. Ah well, after twelve parsecs I made it to Dong Hoi and lived happily ever after for the rest of the evening, thinking up Star Wars references all the while.

These guys even gave me free food and beer. And this time it wasn't a trap, Adm. Ackbar!

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Cat Ba Cat Ba Cat Ba

12:55 AM |

Finally got out of the bustle of Hanoi and on to the stunning Halong Bay, a UNESCO world heritage sight. Spent my last day in Hanoi wandering around various sites, including the military history museum which mostly informed the visitor on the many times that Vietnamese people killed French or American soldiers. Even had a sculpture made out of the wreckage of various downed US warplanes. All this was across the street from a giant statue of Lenin, so what can you do?

Socialism!

I feasted on some true Vietnamese barbecue that night, which was a delectable delight. Crammed in a space the size of two smallish school buses side-by-side, me and about fifty or sixty Vietnamese sat at stools and tables fit for three-year-olds, both in size and flimsy plastic build. Ah, but with your own little hotplate to sear the mouth-watering meat and veggies to perfection, not much else mattered. Spent the next day traveling to Cat Ba on a bus whose drivers took ample breaks for noodles and the occasional smoke. Each time the bus stopped, the driver's would depart without a word, leaving the western passengers trying to figure out if this one was the real stop or just another mandatory sit-in-a-chair-for-five-minutes delay. Though who can blame them? With honks reaching the hundreds per minute, bus driving is serious business here.

Cat Ba is a splendid little port town, with plenty of seafood joints to boot. Even has floating restaurants out on the bay, which I may check out tonight. Best thing about the seafood here is that it's all kept alive right up until it's cooked. From crabs, to shrimp, to fish, and even horseshoe crabs, the restaurants keep everything in tanks, usually streetside. Earlier today I walked a few km to one of the nearby sand beaches, offering gorgeous views and wondrously warm water. I'll likely spend a couple more days here on Cat Ba, hopefully doing some more hiking and maybe even a daysail through the local archipelago. After that, I'm figuring off to Dong Hoi, which I believe to be a little less traveled than Hanoi and Cat Ba. I'm looking for somewhere a little more laid back, where I can spend closer to a week.

Jutting limestone karsts around Cat Ba and the picturesque beach of my morning.

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Hanoi Solo

5:06 AM |

Wooo Hanoi! Not woo jetlag. Spent the first day not really sure when the last time I slept was, and was never too confident about what time it was either. Sitting in the empty Hong Kong airport, deliriously watching episode after episode of Parks and Recreation for ten hours did something to my consciousness. But I slept it off and managed to make today a damn busy day.

Empty.

Started things off with a tour around the old city district. A few of the staff members at the hostel took us around, showed us the sights, pointed at some fun places to hit up. Apparently the Vietnamese gods are major party animals, cause there were a bunch of stacks of beer set out as offerings at a temple. Multiple stacks. Of beer. In a temple. Passed through various markets, filled with everything you'd expect of an Asian market (ie. everything.). The live fish stalls surprised me though. Even had live eels and squid. The woman there was beating something concealed in a towel repeatedly with a hammer. Probably the best job there is.

Second to whatever his job is, of course.

Wandered around for a while after that, even made it to the Hoa Lo Prison, colloquially known as the Hanoi Hilton. It was used to house American POW's during the war, and political prisoners of the French regime before that. Half the museum was devoted to how horribly the Vietnamese prisoners were treated pre-1954 (under the French), while the other half showed how lucky the Americans were to have been captured by the Vietnamese. Double standard? Nahhh, though there was no shortage of phrases like "American imperialists" and "Saigon puppet government" and whathaveyou. Totally not a state-run museum.

Afterwards I hung out by a lake that's supposed to have a giant turtle in it to read. Got about two and a half pages in during the two hours I was there. Vietnamese students really love to practice their english. They just kept coming. Sometimes a pair would be sitting with me and another few would come up to join. Had this one-legged woman come and start talking to me. Then she wanted to sell me something, so I figured what the hell, she hobbled over here I'll give her some change. After insisting that I take a piece of candy in exchange, she told me not to tell anyone about her and left. I do not intend on eating this candy. Off to grab some dinner now, which is like $3 for a giant bowl of pho and a liter of beer. Yum.

The umpteenth group of friendly conversationalists.

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Hong Kong (International Airport)

5:08 AM |

Business class! It's awesome. Lie-flat beds are probably the best way to fly. The woman across the isle from me definitely just slept for the entire fifteen-some-odd hours. And who cares? You get your own little cubicle to do whatever the hell you want with AND a waitstaff that addresses you by name. "Mr. Bahl, would you like another glass of wine?"

Why yes, yes I would.

There was even a little locker for your shoes. Noise-cancelling headphones for the fold-away 15" LCD display, with hundreds of movies at your disposal. Watched War Horse, among other things. I waited the whole movie for the horse to don a machine gun and go Rambo on some Huns, but I found myself deceived by the title. Luckily, I was quickly distracted by this:

YUP, that's a table cloth. And a smoked salmon/avocado mousse thing.

Moral of the story: make an airline that is all business class and world peace will ensue. Now I'm in Hong Kong for a fourteenish hour layover, killing time in the business class lounge. It closes at one and doesn't reopen til five, so I'll have to find some way to get by without all the pampering that this ticket entails for four hours. Until then, free food and booze abound!

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Departure

9:10 PM |

After four years of college and countless years of public education before that, I finally find myself thrust out into the world with little more than a really nice looking piece of paper and a little bit more scruff on my chin than when I started. So I figure I'll get the hell outta Dodge while the gettin's still good. Who knows? Maybe I'll have a bit of fun along the way.

Point is, I'm headed to Vietnam. Hanoi to be precise. From there I'll trek around Southeast Asia and beyond, exploring whatever catches my interest. With me, I've got a 35L backpack and a small canvas messenger bag to house the netbook I type this on. Somehow, it's enough to fit all of this:

Into this:

Everything's set to go. I've had my arms loaded with vaccines, my corneas melted by lasers, my phone plan suspended, my head buzzed clean, and my bank notified of my departure. And if the going gets especially tough, I have 100ft of paracord.

For you, Samwise Gamgee...

I'll leave tomorrow (Wednesday) from JFK, flying in absolute style (read: business class, aww yeah) to Hong Kong and then on to glorious Hanoi, capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. I'll do my best to keep this blog updated, posting whenever I'm able and have something to share. Feel free to subscribe, comment, or send this along to any who may be interested. For all who may be concerned for my well-being, do not fret. No matter what, America will always be close at hand.

F*ck yeah.

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Phong Nha Farmstayin' it up!

Dong Hoi Ahoy!

Cat Ba Cat Ba Cat Ba

Hanoi Solo

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