I am a man of preparation. I tend to follow the old adage, "measure twice and cut once." I always check all of my equipment many times over before going out on a camping trip, scuba diving, rock climbing, you name it. Even before I go for a drive I have a habit of checking all the basic systems of the vehicle. I'm trained in multiple forms of emergency rescue. I know how to land a small airplane in an emergency. Likewise, I read a lot. I research everything I may need to know about an upcoming experience, be it a purchase, a class selection, or my next destination. Thus, after talking to countless souls and reading an immeasurable amount of text on traveling to Thailand I was mortified to find myself caught off-guard upon encountering a major, nay, an essential fact about this country that every one of my sources had neglected to reveal: they drive on the left-hand side of the road.
Imagine now, if you will, my utmost fear upon getting off of the border-crossing bus in Nong Khai and attempting to cross the street. I look to the left, see that all is clear and step off the curb. As I turn my head to the right to check the next lane of traffic, my gaze is suddenly met by an all-too-near van coming right at me, horn blaring. "Fucking idiot!," I think as the Thai driver swerves around me but returns to the left-hand side of the road. Then I notice the orientation of all of the parked cars. As a new stream of left-handed traffic passes by my paralyzed form, it dawns on me that I have been defeated. Wrong-sided traffic has eluded all of my detection systems and breached my perimeter of preparedness. Congratulations Thailand, you and your incorrect road rules have forced me to submit to you, the victor. Here is my sword, my gun and badge, my white flag. That said, you have my word that this will never happen again. You have been warned, Alderney, Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, Bahamas, Bangladesh, Barbados, Bermuda, Bhutan, Botswana, Brunei, Caymans, Christmas Island, Cocos Islands, Cook Islands, Cyprus, Dominica, East Timor, Falkland Islands, Fiji, Grenada, Guernsey, Guyana, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Isle of Man, Jamaica, Japan, Jersey, Kenya, Kiribati, Lesotho, Macau, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Malta, Mauritius, Motserrat, Mozambique, Namibia, Nauru, Nepal, New Zealand, Niue, Norfolk Island, North Korea, Pakistan, Papau New Guinea, Pitcairn Islands, Saint Helena, Cunha, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Samoa, Seychelles, Singapore, Solomon Islands, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Suriname, Swaziland, Tanzania, Thailand, Tokelau, Tonga, Trinidad and Tobago, Turks and Caicos, Tuvalu, Uganda, United Kingdom, British Virgin Islands, U.S. Virgin Islands, Zambia, and Zimbabwe.
A couple visits to the Thai embassy and a day at the sauna later, and I'm in Thailand. Thailand! I've successfully made it to all four of my originally planned destinations. Everything from here on out is anybody's guess. But for the time being, I am enjoying Thailand a good bit. The food is just incomparable. I can still see Laos across the Mekong from my guesthouse, yet the food is orders of magnitude better here than what lies on the other side of that ubiquitous body of water. Last night, I indulged an the most mouth-watering plate of pad thai that I've ever had the good fortune to shove chopsticks into. You know how much it set me back? One dollar. One damned dollar. The beer's a little more expensive here than elsewhere in the region, but with food this cheap and absurdly delicious, I am not one to complain. Hell, I may even be able to overlook the incorrect driving arrangements.
4 comments:
you sir, are a fantastic storyteller.
Did you pee yourself in that picture?
Ughh everyone asks that. No, I didn't pee myself. I had just gone swimming and my boxers were still wet when I put my shorts on. That and I was generally sweaty and dirty from all the jungle trekking.
"...surrounded by vomiting Lao's and assaulted by Lao karaoke for twenty-three hours straight."
0_0 Sounds easy but difficult.
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